Self-harm is a difficult and sensitive topic for any parent to face. If you suspect or know that your child is self-harming, you may feel scared, confused, or even helpless. It’s important to remember that you are not alone, and there are ways to support your child through this challenging time.
How Common Is Self-Harm Among Children and Teens?
Self-harm is more common than many parents realize. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about 1 in 5 adolescents in the United States have engaged in some form of self-harm at least once. Research published in the journal Pediatrics found that 17% of adolescents reported self-injurious behavior, with higher rates among girls than boys.
- Age of Onset: Most children who self-harm begin between ages 12 and 15.
- Gender Differences: Girls are more likely to self-harm than boys, but boys are less likely to seek help or disclose their behavior.
- Mental Health Connection: Up to 70% of teens who self-harm also struggle with mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, or trauma.
Why Do Children Self-Harm?
Self-harm, such as cutting, burning, or hitting oneself, is often a way for children and teens to cope with overwhelming emotions or situations. Some common reasons include:
- Emotional Regulation: Children may use self-harm to manage intense feelings like sadness, anger, anxiety, or numbness.
- Communication: Sometimes, self-harm is a way to express pain or ask for help when words are hard to find.
- Control: In situations where a child feels powerless, self-harm can provide a sense of control over their body or emotions.
- Relief from Emotional Pain: The physical pain of self-harm can temporarily distract from emotional distress.
- Peer Influence: Exposure to self-harm behaviors among friends or online communities can increase the likelihood of a child trying it themselves.
What Are the Warning Signs?
Some signs that a child may be self-harming include:
- Unexplained cuts, bruises, or burns
- Wearing long sleeves or pants even in hot weather
- Withdrawing from friends and family
- Emotional instability or sudden mood changes
- Finding sharp objects in their room or belongings
How Can Parents Support Their Child?
- Stay Calm and Compassionate: Your initial reaction matters. Respond with empathy rather than anger or panic. Let your child know you care and are there to help.
- Open Communication: Encourage honest conversations. Ask open-ended questions and listen without judgment. Avoid pressuring your child to explain or justify their actions.
- Educate Yourself: Learn about self-harm and mental health. Understanding the reasons behind the behavior can help you respond more effectively.
- Seek Professional Help: Reach out to mental health professionals who specialize in working with children and adolescents. Therapy can provide your child with healthier coping strategies.
- Create a Safe Environment: Remove or secure items that could be used for self-harm. Encourage positive outlets for emotions, such as art, sports, or journaling.
- Support, Don’t Punish: Avoid threats or punishments. Focus on supporting your child’s healing and recovery.
- Take Care of Yourself: Supporting a child who self-harms can be emotionally taxing. Seek support for yourself through counseling, support groups, or trusted friends.
Crisis Support
If your child is in immediate danger or you are concerned about their safety, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. This free, confidential service is available 24/7 for anyone experiencing emotional distress or a mental health crisis. Simply dial 988 from any phone in the United States.
Remember
Self-harm is a sign of emotional distress, not a bid for attention or a reflection of your parenting. With understanding, patience, and the right support, recovery is possible. Your love and presence can make a significant difference in your child’s journey toward healing.
Sources:
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC): Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance
- Pediatrics Journal: Prevalence of Nonsuicidal Self-Injury Among Adolescents
- Mental Health America: Self-Injury
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline